I need help from a colleague. In the past we have been in competing units but due to a recent reorganisation we now have to cooperate. I have tried everything; bargaining, pleading, complimenting, cajoling, even threatening (to a degree) but nothing seems effective. Should I just give up?

No don’t give up. You haven’t tried everything at all. Your approach to Influence is typical of many. You have focused very much on your own needs. You have been very explicit, I’m sure; telling the colleague what you need, why you need it, why they should do what you want, what’s in it for them, and probably also what unpleasant consequences might follow if they don’t agree. These are all pretty standard influence or negotiation behaviours.

But there are others you might consider. Try:

• Asking questions; ‘what do they need out of the situation?’
• Listen carefully to their answers.
• Paraphrase to show your understanding of their view.
• Probe and dig further to explore issues that are of relevance and value to you both.
• Test the implications of what they say to demonstrate deeper insight on your behalf.
• Look for and point to common ground.
• Refer to commonly held values – you may have picked up on some of these if you listened well. You might also consider
• Sharing your true motives, your worries or your fear of failure.

These ‘influence behaviours’ are much more focused on the other party. If you combine these effectively with the others mentioned above I predict a much greater likelihood of cooperation from your colleague – and others.

Try some of the above and maybe you’ll get to ‘seal that deal’.